Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
When God points me to a moment in my youth, and shows me he was there, speaking to me, teaching me, my failures become vivid. I am convicted. Yet in these moments he soothes me. He tells me that I am his, and that I have always been his. He is pleased in the gift of discernment he granted me. Although I never embraced it, he shows me that through that gift I never questioned him, I never blamed him, for my circumstances or my predicaments. I didn’t understand he was there. I did not recognize his voice, yet now it is so clear what he had said, and just how close he was. When He calls me to my past, I now feel his Love, the love He had for me then, such unbounded love that he gave me my own will. Not forcing what was truly his to command upon me, but to give me the ability to choose what paths to take.
In those moments, I mourn my youth, I mourn most of my life, and I mourn for not understanding what is so clear, so easy to understand. As scripture says; “Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech” (Proverbs 1:20-21). Yet He tells me not to mourn, He comforts me in my pain, and shows me how my will was weak against the schemes of this world, He has made known to me how His Word is here, was here, and will always be here, to strengthen my will against what is evil.
He shows me how the Word was hidden from me. How the world, the evil one, prevented me from the strength I could have had all along. The deception of evil upon humanity, the lies we have been fed from Eden until today. That somehow, in some way, man could improve on God’s design.
In His grace and mercy, through His love for us, he spoke through the prophets, He breathed the Word into their hearts for our humility, and His glory. A gift to his children. A gift of Power against the evil one, who rules this world, and blinds us from the truth. The truth that is so plainly visible; For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. (Romans 1:20).
Today he took me there again. He took me back to a day beside a stream. A day I should have been fishing, yet He called out to me. A child, overcome by creation, lost in the magnificence of all that He has done, yet shielded from the truth. When He takes me there now, back to that stream, I clearly see him in all his Glory, all his splendor, calling out to me, revealing himself, and his will.
The world had stolen that moment from me. As awesome as I believed it to be then, today it is so much more, and I can see now what I missed then. Today God gave that moment back to me as he intended it to be. A moment in the presence of my creator, He and I, together as he wills.
The Lord has said; Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
This is what the Lord imparts on my heart today. He has shown me that I lacked training. I was unable to see his creation for what it was. I was blinded from it by so many generations of self, so many generations of pride. By the lies of Satan, building man’s desires to put himself equal with God.
“Since they would not accept my advice
and spurned my rebuke,
they will eat the fruit of their ways
and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.
For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,
and the complacency of fools will destroy them;
but whoever listens to me will live in safety
and be at ease, without fear of harm.”
Truly my pain, my (our) suffering in this world is the fruit of our schemes. We, in our pride have sowed a spoiled seed, and we now reap a poison fruit.
We however are blessed and loved by a God that is full of Grace, A God that Love’s his children so much that he will pursue us until we understand. Until we believe that pain, and misery are merely a departure from his presence. A byproduct of believing more in ourselves than in him.
In his greatest gift, an outpouring of His Love, he became man, and walked among us displaying his will for us, defeating sin, defeating death, and then for our sake joining his Father to allow the Holy Spirit to come to us to convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgement. The Holy Spirit opens our eyes to his creation, his power, and his glory. As we accept this gift from our loving God, we are born again.
Through this re-birth, this transformation, we are then children to be trained in the way we should go.
Thank you Lord God, for your presence today. Thank you for revealing yourself to me. Thank you for your presence forty years ago along that stream, and thank you for giving me up to my will, for in my failures I have learned to trust you. Lord I pray that I can use this lesson to open eyes to your will. I pray that you have brought me here to use me for Your Glory. I thank you Lord God for the strength to deny the world, and live only in you. Praise you Lord, Praise your Grace and Mercy, and your unending Love. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen